THE OVEREDUCATED PARENT’S GUIDE TO CHILDREN’S BOOKS
“For Parents Seeking Deeper Meaning to Literature for Toddlers”
“IF YOU GIVE A PIG A PANCAKE” by Laura Joffe Numeroff
In this sequel to “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” and prequel to “If You Give a Moose a Muffin,” the author covers her now well-trodden doctrine: Don’t give anything away unless you are willing to suffer the consequences. In plainer terms, if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. The author’s distaste for charity is firmly rooted in her belief in Ayn Rand’s philosophy of objectivism.
“HOP ON POP” by Dr. Seuss
In this Cold War-era tome, “Pop” symbolizes Stalinist Russia and her East European satellites, while the children portray democracy and free trade. Look for the hidden missile silos throughout.
“CARL’S AFTERNOON IN THE PARK” by Alexandra Day
The entry in the “Good Dog, Carl” series, the author once again makes her point that Rottweilers are better suited to care for children than adults (and certainly far more entertaining). Her underlying motif is one of loss, hope, and ear mites.
“GOODNIGHT MOON” by Margaret Wise Brown
In this classic work of coercion, Ms. Brown’s prose is intended to put the listener to sleep before reaching the conclusion: an uneventful goodnight to a brush, a pair of mittens, and a bowl of mush. A noteworthy introduction to a parent’s use of totalitarianism.
“THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR” by Eric Carle
A tale of greed and gluttony as a caterpillar seeks to satisfy its own worldly cravings. The caterpillar symbolizes the id and the butterfly, the ego. The parent reader represents the superego. A Freudian masterpiece.
“WHERE IS BABY’S MOMMY?” by Karen Katz
A baby cannot find his mother, who is hiding behind the curtain. Unquestionably the best example of Man’s Inhumanity to Man currently available in board book form.
“PAT THE BUNNY” by Dorothy Kunhardt
The number 6 all-time bestselling children’s hardcover book, Paul and Judy smell flowers, look in the mirror, and pat the bunny, then encourage toddlers to do the same. Considered THE early primer for toddlers not yet ready to tackle Thomas à Kempis’ “Imitation of Christ,” it remains a staple introduction to theology in many households, religious or not.
“FIRST BOOK OF SUSHI” by A. Sanger
A propagandist primer, both author and publisher try to hospitalize tots one by one by persuading them to ingest raw fish via colorful pictures and playful rhyme. A consummate example of indoctrination.
“WHERE IS BABY’S BELLY BUTTON?” by Karen Katz
Much like the Zen koan, “Has a dog Buddha nature or not?” this thin volume seeks to aid satori-seeking tots by teaching them that the meaning of life is right under their noses (or, rather, in the middle of their tummies). This is a loose adaptation of the ancient writings by Zen Master Dogen.
“THE RUNAWAY BUNNY” by Margaret Wise Brown
In Brown’s seminal work, a young bunny cannot escape the clutches of his mother, who assumes a number of disguises including a cloud, a tree, and a fisherman. A worthy homage to Carson McCullers’ short work “A Tree * A Rock * A Cloud” as well as a retelling of the archetypal tale “you can run, but you can’t hide (from your mother)”.
Source: Unknown, but forwarded to me by Cathy B.
